🤑🥯 Yes, this viral bagel is FREE!

It’s Wednesday, Boston.

🍕 Bocce, pizza, and Peroni? Sign us up! Bocce Vita is hosting a bocce tournament in the North End at 5:30 p.m. Saturday, and FIVE lucky B-Side Members (plus a guest) get to go for just $15 a pop! Become a member here to enter — tix drop Thursday! 

🎉 And we’ve got a DOUBLE b-day shoutout! Happiest of B-Side birthdays to Nick Anderson and Wendy Wagner Robeson. May they be filled with Italian beer and lawn games. <3

👀 What’s on tap today:

• Kiss junk fees goodbye

• Book the dang flight!

• We *almost* did it, Joe …

Up first…

SEPTEMBER FREEBIES

Bagels, and pickles, and beer. Oh my!

When it comes to freebies, B-Siders are *literally* fed this month. From doughnuts to beer to pickles, here’s how to add to your social calendar without spending a dime:

😛 Collect your free cruller. Then pass GO! Daily Provisions, Harvard Square’s hottest new cafe, is welcoming back students with a FREE cruller when they flash a student ID on Sept. 3-5 from 5 to 9 p.m.

🚲 Trade a shuttle bus for a Bluebike. Everyone say, “thanks, Blue Cross Blue Shield!” They’re offering a $20 Bluebikes credit to ease your MBTA shutdown blues. Just use code BLUECROSSMAMBTA3 in the app!

🍩 Run for free doughtnuts! We’re sold. But if YOU need more convincing … Marathon Sports and New Balance are hosting “The Donut Mile” on Sept. 10, where you eat a doughnut hole every quarter mile. Bonus: You can test out New Balance sneaks, eat more treats, and win doughnut-themed prizes. 

💍 Celebrate your English teacher’s and gym teacher’s betrothal. Broken Records really out parasocial-relationshipped itself with a literal engagement party for Taylor and Travis on Sept. 16. Expect a Tayvis-themed menu, wedding cake (!) from Montilio’s, and of course, Swiftie Easter eggs.

😳 Don’t look down in the Seaport. The Red Bull Cliff Diving World Series is BACK in Boston from Sept. 19-20, which means you can watch professional daredevils *willingly* flip themselves off the roof of the ICA before plugging into the ~60-degree Boston Harbor.

🍻 Just say no to Oktoberfest covers. And say “ja!” to this FREE Oktoberfest Beer Fest Party at Time Out Market on Sept. 27. They’ll be slinging free beer samples, a stein-holding contest, a photo booth, and more!

😋 Pig out on allll the free food fests. There’s really something for everyone: 

• The Fermentation Fest on Sept. 7. The vibe: LOADS of locally made fermented foods to sample. Think: Chocolate, kombucha, cheese, and more.

• The Boston Local Food Fest on Sept. 14 has nearly 100 food vendors, free samples, and chef demos.

• Somerville’s *iconic* What The Fluff? Fest on Sept. 20 is a dessert-head’s dream: fluffalicious treats, sticky games, and zany happenings.

🥯 Pop Up (Bagel) with us at Faneuil Hall. Good thing 91% of respondents to last week’s poll said they’d come to a “hypothetical” clothing swap event with free Pop Up Bagels, ‘cause that’s EXACTLY the plan Sept. 27! Meet us upstairs at Quincy Market from 12 to 1 p.m. for free clothes, bagels, and live local music. More deets to come!

CITY

Quick & dirty headlines

🗑️ Mass. is putting junk fees where they belong: In the trash. Shoutout Mass. Attorney General Andrea Campbell, because as of Sept. 2, new state regulations require hotels, restaurants, rental cars, auto sales, concert tickets, and consumer goods to let buyers know exactly how much they’re paying upfront for a product. Translation: Kiss those surprise fees at checkout GOODBYE! The only exception? Airlines. Bonus: It also mandates sellers let you know when your subscription or free trial renews (and an easy way to cancel).

🌆 Boston’s return-to-office scene might be as good as it gets. The goal of working five days from a cubicle looks more like an executive pipe dream (thank GOD), as many local companies seem to be sticking with a hybrid approach, according to The Boston Globe. Commuter rail traffic has flattened and some cafes’ midweek sales are still below pre-COVID levels. So instead of waiting for workers to magically reappear, downtown evangelists are turning to events, nightlife, and even flipping office buildings into housing, to boost foot traffic.

✈️ This is your sign: Book the dang flight! JetBlue just launched a three-day fall sale with one-way fares out of Logan for as low as $59. And while the domestic deals are solid (see: $64 to Chicago and $74 to Charleston), the international flights are really where it’s at, imo: $199 nonstop flights to Dublin, Madrid, Edinburgh, London, Paris, AND Amsterdam. The sale is good for Tuesday, Wednesday, and Saturday travel between Sept. 13 and Dec. 17 (with some exceptions). But act quickly! The deals end Sept. 4.

🍣 Your poke bowl might come with a Labubu. That’s because Love Art Sushi (home to the B-Side team’s fave fast casual poke bowl) is opening up shop in the Seaport on Sept. 4. Even better: There will be deals, baby, deals! Specifically, 50% off five of their featured bowls from 11 a.m. to 8 p.m., a free gift for the first 25 guests, and entry into drawings for gift cards, prizes, and … Labubus (!) if you purchase a bowl that day. Our rec: The Fenway Special. She’s popular for a reason!

QUICK QUESTION!

💻 How many days a week do you work in the office?

ONE LAST THING

‘Tis the season to get Storrowed

We *almost* did it, Joe. It seemed like the litany of “CARS ONLY” signs and MassDCR’s unhinged social media campaign finally worked, as the Storrowing scene was eerily quiet this moving season. Even this Penske truck managed to smarten up at the last minute.

But it appears the Storrow gods were displeased with the lack of sacrifice and took matters into their own hands. See: This freight truck taking one for the team, this wild Storrowing POV from a motorcycle, and what looks like an 18-wheeler that got the you-know-what kicked out of it by an overpass. 

And while we think of 9/1 as peak Storrowing season, as of last week, police had responded to 36 (!) Storrowings on the main roads along the Charles River this YEAR, according to the Wall Street Journal. Which frankly, just feels embarrassing.

— Written by Emily Schario

😫 Thanks for reading! WE. ARE. TIRED.

👎 The results are in: Nearly 75% of respondents are certified BUMMED about Blank Street taking over the old Twin Donuts space. One reader wrote, “I have a personal soapbox (derogatory) on the new york-ification of Boston that my friends have all been subjected to but I will spare bside readers.” Please! Subject us! We wanna hear!

💃 Keep up with us @BostonBSide on IG, TikTok, and Twitter. Send comments and suggestions to [email protected] or [email protected].