🏆 Super Bowl-less city of champions

🇺🇸 When I’m President, my first order of business will be making the day after Super Bowl Sunday a national holiday. Consider this my 2032 announcement.

👀 What’s on tap today:

Up first…

It’s been four long years without a Patriots Super Bowl appearance. And it may very well be another four. But when it comes to the state of Boston sports as a whole, we’re faring pretty well (Red Sox are still TBD).

TL;DR: There could be two duck boats in our future.

🏀 The Celtics are still strong. Despite three recent back-to-back losses to low-tier teams and a dwindling conference lead, the C’s are still holding onto the best record in the NBA. 538’s NBA Predictions give them almost a one in four chance of winning the NBA Finals. Plus, 24-year-old Jason Tatum just hit his 1,000th career 3-pointer on Friday, making him the youngest player in NBA history to reach 1,000 threes.

🏒 The Bruins are doing just fine. Really, more than fine, since they too still have the best record in the league. Perhaps the most remarkable thing about the Bruins’ season, according to Boston Globe reporter Chad Finn, is “that nearly 60 percent of the schedule was complete before the Bruins hit anything resembling a slump.” The B’s lost three of their final four games before the All-Star break to high quality teams. And similar to the C’s, 538’s NHL Predictions give the B’s nearly a one in four chance of winning the Cup.

🏒 And don’t forget about Boston Pride. Boston’s professional women’s hockey team is currently the No. 1 team in the Premier Hockey Federation, and they’ve won the Isobel Cup (their version of the Stanley Cup) the past two years. You can catch their home games in action at the Warrior Ice Arena in Brighton. Standing room tickets start at $20.

🤑 Tax return update! The IRS has decided that *most* Mass. taxpayers won’t need to report the extra state tax refund they received at the end of last year as taxable income (both federally and at the state level). Woo! This means as long as you take the standard deduction, you’re in the clear. The only people who do need to report the refund are those who itemize deductions and those who received a tax benefit in 2022.

🚨 Casinos put in timeout. In-person sports betting has been live in Mass. for less than two weeks and two casinos have already broken the rules. Encore Boston Harbor and Plainridge Park Casino are in the hot seat for accepting bets on in-state college sports teams (remember: those can only happen during tournaments). Both casinos reported themselves to the state’s Gaming Commission, so now the Commission will have to decide what kind of punishment to dole out. As of now, mobile sports betting is still set to launch in Mass. on March 10.

💰 City Hall employee caught money laundering. Freda Brasfield, the finance director in Mayor Wu’s office, has been placed on unpaid leave after being charged with money laundering in relation to a scheme smuggling synthetic drugs into a state prison. Brasfield, who has worked in the mayor’s office across several administrations, allegedly used the Cash App to finance the illegal sale of the drugs, prosecutors said. She’s been charged with nine others involved in the scheme and has pleaded not guilty.

🏈 Will Gronkowski retire as a Patriot? He’s definitely open to it. This comment comes as Patriots owner Robert Kraft has made it clear he’d like to sign Tom Brady to a one-day contract so he can retire as a Patriot. And if Kraft is willing to dole out any more of those, Gronkowski said in a recent interview that it “would definitely be something to consider.” Gronk then went on to shower the Patriots organization with praise, sharing how he learned so much over his nine years there. Take a hint, Kraft! Give the man his contract.

Police captured an emu on the run in Brockton. Yes, you read that correctly.

Mallory the emu jumped the fence of her East Bridgewater home on Thursday, catching the attention of locals who were equally confused as to why an emu was traipsing around town. Here’s a video of Mallory running down the street if you don’t believe us.

Animal Control managed to catch her with a blanket about an hour after calls started coming in, and she was safely returned home (she’s a pet, btw) with only a scrape on her leg from jumping the fence.

😂 Thanks for reading! I can’t tell what I love more about this story: The fact that an emu was on the loose, or that someone named an emu Mallory.

💃 Keep up with us @BostonBSide on IG, TikTok, and Twitter. Send comments and suggestions to [email protected].