🩰 The Nutcracker ... but make it SPICY

🎄 Here’s a fun holiday to-do: Eight Boston buildings are going hard with decorations this season and you get to pick who sleighed (sorry). You can vote for your fav now through Dec. 18 by using QR codes posted in each lobby. Here’s the full list of participating buildings.

👀 What’s on tap today:

Up first...

Welcome to day one of the 12 days of B-Side. For the next two-ish weeks, we’ll be bringing you a slew of holiday-themed stories, covering everything from the best festive treats to navigating family drama during the holidays (fun!). 

First up, our hand-picked list of holiday concerts and performances to satisfy both the Christmas caroling traditionalists and those who prefer the remix (see: Justin Bieber’s version of “The Little Drummer Boy”): 

🎶 If you’re all about the classics … There’s nothing more synonymous with Christmastime in Boston than the Boston Symphony Orchestra’s Holiday Pops. Led by conductor extraordinaire Keith Lockhart, the Holiday Pops are known for serenading audiences with upbeat arrangements of holiday tunes, sing-a-longs, surprise appearances from local celebs, and a visit from Santa Claus himself. Or, if you’re a firm believer that “Die Hard” is a Christmas movie, The Huntington’s presentation of “Yippee Ki Yay” offers a fun and festive parody of the classic action flick.

📚 If you love a good story … Langston Hughes’ “Black Nativity” is as iconic as they come. It tells the traditional Christmas story as found in the New Testament gospels, accompanied by energetic gospel music, dance, and African drums. But if you prefer a more secular storytelling experience, Front Porch Arts Collective is closing out its festive Family Recipes Reading Series with "Holiday Feast," featuring readings from Black sitcoms “227,” “Girlfriends,” and “Living Single.”

🩰 If you’re a sugar plum fairy stan … You can get it three ways: The most classic is the Boston’s Ballet’s “The Nutcracker” featuring beloved characters, glittering sets, and world-class ballerinas; the most relatable is “The Urban Nutcracker,” a modern, multicultural remix showcasing a blend of ballet, tap, hip hop, flamenco, swing, and more; and perhaps the most unhinged of them all is “The Slutcracker” at the Somerville Theatre, a sexy, fun, burlesque twist on the classic ballet. Think: Instead of Clara receiving a doll, she gets a vibrator!

😂 If you’re in it for the laughs … Improv Asylum’s ‘Twas show uses the base of “‘Twas The Night Before Christmas” while letting audience members dictate other details in the story for a truly bespoke comedy performance; Gold Dust Orphans’ “The Rocky Menorah Christmas Show” parodies the cult classic by shipping all the characters off to the North Pole (and “the villain is [U.S. Rep.] Marjorie Taylor Greene”); and legendary filmmaker John Waters is back this month with “A John Waters Christmas,” offering a unique (and NSFW) mix of standup and storytelling. 

👀 Want more? Here’s Boston.com’s full list of holiday concerts and shows to get you through the season.

Share your questions and problems about going home for the holidays with us (i.e. setting boundaries, avoiding sticky conversations, telling your fam you’re NOT coming home) and we’ll ask an expert and feature the answers in an upcoming B-Side story!

🛍 Shop ‘til you drop at Boston’s newest shopping oasis in Seaport. The Superette is a delightful European-style retail space offering more than 20 incredible experiences (with more to come) ranging from high-end fragrances to mind-blowing tacos. While you’re there, be sure to check out the latest fall scents at Aesop, discover your next pair of jeans at Rag & Bone, and prep for snowbird season at Faherty. The outdoor courtyard is open year-round and is continuously adding new experiences to offer perfect finds and little thrills.

💸 Boston’s wage gaps are changing. A new report by the Boston Women’s Workforce Council found that Boston’s gender wage gap is shrinking (by nine cents since 2021) and its racial wage gap is growing (by three cents in the same timeframe). Why? It’s complicated, but COVID probably played a role in the changes, the Globe reports. The flexibility of remote work, healthcare work shortages, and federal funding benefitted many women, while increased health issues and caregiving demands hurt communities of colors’ ability to work.

🏈 Charlie Baker wants some D1 schools to start paying their athletes. Baker, the newest president of the NCAA (and Mass.’ former Governor), unveiled a proposal that would allow big-money D1 schools to enter into a subdivision in which they could directly compensate their athletes through a trust fund. He also wants to allow all D1 schools to give their athletes unlimited educational benefits, and enter into NIL agreements with athletes. That said, the road to making this proposal a reality is long, and there’s currently no timetable to get there.

🕎 The first night of Hanukkah is here! And if you want to celebrate, there are plenty of places to head to tonight, Dec. 7. For a party vibe, the MFA is holding a big celebration of Hanukkah (with $5 pay-what-you-wish admission starting at 5 p.m.) including performances, treats, and, of course, art. Plus, Arsenal Yards is holding a public menorah lighting and celebration with live music, fire dancing, and free treats. Or, hit up a more classic menorah lighting on Boston Common. And if you can’t make it tonight, there’s another lighting in the Seaport on Dec. 10. Chag sameach!

🎥 The best movie of 2023 goes to … “Past Lives” by Celine Song! Or, it does in Globe film critic Odie Henderson’s book, anyway. He just released his top ten movies of 2023 list, and there’s a little something for everyone. The list’s box-office hits, like “Barbie” and “Air,” sit alongside flicks you might not have seen yet, like “You Hurt My Feelings,” a rom com starring Julia Louis-Dreyfus, or “Anatomy of a Fall,” a courtroom drama slash murder mystery. Read the whole list here.

Can you imagine a goat roaming the streets of Boston? Us neither, but that didn’t stop one Bostonian from trolling Boston 311 — a service line residents can use to report problems like overflowing trash or graffiti — with three fake reports of goat sightings in the city. 

The perp used what looks like AI-generated images alongside self-edited photos of goats in various parts of the city (you should seriously look at them, they’re so odd) and submitted them to the line with complaints like: “Kind of weird, but there’s a legit goat wandering around … someone must have left it — but it’s wet and smelly.”

Although it’s unclear what Boston 311 thought of the prank, they did close all three tickets, noting “no signs of goats” on one. At least they’re thorough! 

— Written by Gia Orsino and Emily Schario

🐐 Thanks for reading! So often, writing these one last things, I’m left sitting at my desk, just wondering: why? This is one of those moments.

💜 Special shoutout to today's sponsor, Seaport, for supporting local businesses and community journalism. 

👖 The results are in. 31% of B-Side readers think the worst holiday gift is clothes you don’t like, just edging out a gift you can’t return. One reader said: “I feel awful because I know they want to see me in them, but I just can’t!”

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