😬🚩 Boston’s biggest red flags

🌭 What’s better than one Fenway Frank? Two Fenway Franks, two Red Sox tickets, and two fountain drinks starting at just $29 (!) thanks to this Perfect Pair Pax deal for select games in April. Grab them here!

👀 What’s on tap today:

Up first…

It’s easier than ever to write someone off in the age of online dating. In fact, there are entire online communities dedicated to identifying dating red flags. 

But are we so focused on red flags that we might miss the green ones? Here’s what to know: 

👫 “Are We Dating the Same Guy?” is the OG red flag group. It started in NYC back in 2022 as a space for straight women to swap information about shady guys. By 2024, there were over 200 pages for cities all around the world, with over 3.5 million members. The Boston/Cambridge group has nearly 109,000 alone. 

🤝 To be clear: It’s helped a LOT of women. 29-year-old Ashleigh Hammar recently found out through the Boston group that a guy she’d been seeing was dating multiple people. “I'm scrolling through comments and comments and comments of a million girls being like, ‘I'm dating him. No, I'm dating him,’ she said. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg — nearly half of women report experiencing harassment while online dating.

📲 But one member’s dealbreaker can be another’s defamation suit. See: The not-so-flattering reddit posts, articles, and yes, lawsuits the group has inspired. “There is value in safety and being able to … share a particularly negative experience,” said BU media science professor Kathryn Coduto. “On the other hand, I do worry about our inability to forgive people, to allow people room for growth,” she said, especially when our definitions of a red flag can differ dramatically, and often depend on context we can’t see.

🚩 Our obsession with red flags is rooted in online dating. Having endless options at our fingertips gives us “the paradox of choice,” said Adam Cohen-Aslatei, CEO of Three Day Rule Matchmaking. “If someone has one thing that's not perfect, the dating apps tell us to drop them and go fishing,” he said. The result? “We start seeing everything as a red flag.” 

🙅‍♀️ It might be hurting us more than it helps. As we become more willing to write people off for one bad quality or moment, “it makes it so that we're not as forgiving toward people and towards their own idiosyncrasies,” Coduto said. Or, as Cohen-Aslatei put it, “we start treating people like material objects.” How romantic!

🫵 So before you post, take a look in the mirror. Though safety is ultimately the most important thing in any dating scenario, “when we start thinking about the world in an abundance way versus a scarcity way, the outcomes tend to be much better when it comes to dating,” Cohen-Aslatei said. His suggestion? Before you write someone off entirely, try to find two things you like about them. 

🥈 We’re officially on New England medal watch! So far, Southborough’s Korey Dropkin nabbed a silver in mixed doubles curling with partner Cory Thiesse (a.k.a. “the Coreys”) in a match that came down to the final stone, as did Vermont’s Ben Ogden, which became the U.S.’ first men’s cross-country skiing medal in 50 years. Meanwhile, though Boston Skating Club’s Maxim Naumov hasn’t earned a medal yet (he’ll compete for one on Friday) we’re awarding his qualifier performance with the medal for “most likely to make us ugly cry.” 

🤖 AI-generated ads have arrived in local politics. And their main target: Gov. Healey. Over the past few months, Healey’s opponents have been churning out AI-generated attack ads, from WILD videos depicting her as a monster to using her voice in a fake radio spot. Though Brian Shortsleeve’s campaign (which has dropped at least $14,000 on said ads) insists that “voters get the joke,” Mass.’ lack of AI regulations has some officials worried. The good news: The onslaught has prompted Beacon Hill to take up two bills that would add some guardrails. 

🎶 There’s a new music festival in town. Allow us to introduce Mojo Boston Music Festival, which is coming to City Hall Plaza for the first time on May 9 (and hopefully filling the Boston Calling-sized hole in our hearts). The fest, which promises 10 hours(!) of music, food, drinks, and art, is run by Local Mojo, a group of former UMass students striving to bolster local music scenes. The lineup isn’t out yet, but their festivals tend to feature indie up-and-comers. You can grab tickets for $46.

🥣 Add these spots to your soup season rotation. Especially now that the Globe dropped a list of Boston’s best soup restaurants. Want ramen? Head to Brookline’s Ganko Ittetsu. Clam Chowder? Eventide in Fenway is the spot. French onion? Deuxave in Back Bay. Brothy beans? Jadu in JP. If you can believe it, there’s a lot more where that came from — especially if you sign up for the Globe’s soup newsletter. Check out the whole list here.

Below are some of the hottest local things to do. This month, B-Side Members can save more than $150 across our events, in addition to over 60 other awesome perks.

💕 Send a Valentine’s Day E-Card | Through Feb. 13 at 4 p.m. | $10 | Looking for a V-Day gesture that gives back? We’ve got you. Send a $10 e-Valentine to someone you love and the proceeds will go towards Girls Inc. of Boston and Lynn, an organization that helps local girls reach their full potential. Send one here!

✨ Boston Winter Wellness Experience | Feb. 14 | 9:45 a.m. check-in | Omni Boston Hotel at the Seaport | $25 member, $30 regular | Round 4 of this sold-out wellness morning features a 50-minute sculpt class by The Move, followed by the Seaav Wellness Lounge with cozy sips, self-care pop-ups, mini glow facials, and more. Bring your mat and water bottle. 

🍩 Polymer Clay Workshop | Feb. 27 | Boston Public Market | $5 off for B-Side Members | Learn polymer clay basics in this hands-on workshop where you’ll craft a pendant, magnet, earrings, or keychain while snacking on a Union Square donut. B-Side Members save $5. Reserve your spot here.

👀 Want to feature your upcoming event above? Click here.

Just when we thought the post-Super Bowl vibes couldn’t get any worse … Apparently, Cardi B and Stefon Diggs broke up less than a week after Diggs hinted that he’d get down on one knee if the Pats won. 

The vibes first seemed off when Cardi was asked to send Diggs a message before the game. Her response? An extremely shady “good luck.” The pair then unfollowed each other on Instagram post-game. Yikes!

If true, the breakup would be a major Uno reverse from the rest of the season, which saw Cardi proudly repping the Pats, shmoozing with Robert Kraft, even hanging out at Star Market in Dedham. She was basically an honorary Masshole.

While neither side has confirmed the rumors, it’s not looking good. And it gets worse: Diggs will soon appear in court for felony charges that he allegedly hit and choked a private chef. So yeah, the vibes are grim.

— Written by Gia Orsino and Emily Schario

💍 Thanks for reading! The only thing worse than losing a ring? Losing TWO.

♒ The results are in: 66% of B-Siders said they wouldn’t let astrology influence their dating decisions. One reader said: “I already have so many dealbreakers I can't let the stars add more.” Lol.

💃 Keep up with us @BostonBSide on IG, TikTok, and Twitter. Send comments and suggestions to [email protected] or [email protected].