😳 Family drama has entered the chat

It’s Tuesday, Boston.

📚 It’s also officially best-of-the-year-list season. And we’re starting off strong with the Globe’s 75 best books of 2024. We’d personally cosign “Martyr!” by Kaveh Akbar and “Wandering Stars” by Tommy Orange.

👀 What’s on tap today:

• Train Daddy Eng

• How to ski for FREE

• The WNBA … in Worcester?

Up first…

12 DAYS OF B-SIDE

Holidays + politics = A recipe for trouble

On the ninth day of B-Side the newsletter gave to me: Tips for surviving family drama, holiday good news, five delish hot chocolates, Phillip Eng’s Spotify Wrapped, volunteer opportunities(!) … tips for Boston winters, one pop-up review, local gift recs, and a Boston holiday tree. 🎶

It’s no secret this year’s presidential election shook up Thanksgiving dinner conversations. And round two is just around the corner. So before you head home for the holidays, here are some expert tips for handling those tough convos.

❓Q: How do I navigate not wanting to go home for the holidays post-election?

💬 It’s OK to feel that way, and you’re not alone. According to Brit Barron, author of “Do You Still Talk to Grandma?”, it’s “completely reasonable” that some folks don’t have the bandwidth to see their family this year. On the fence about going? Imagine how it might feel, said Laurie Kramer, professor of psychology at Northeastern. If you see yourself feeling unsafe, getting defensive, or lashing out, those might be signs to sit this one out.

💡 Remember: As your feelings change, so can your boundaries, Barron said. Just because you skip this year doesn’t mean you won’t be back next year (something you can communicate with your fam). 

❓Q: I want to go home, but I don’t want to talk politics. How do I set those boundaries?

💬 Be on the offense, a.k.a. tell them ahead of time. If you feel comfortable, a (kind) call to tell your family how you feel before you go can work wonders, Kramer said. Explain what you’re trying to avoid (like arguments or hurt feelings) and emphasize what you do want to talk about instead (think: family stories or future trips).

💭 If you can’t chat beforehand, leave nothing up to chance. Translation: Mentally prepare for how you might withstand, or pivot from, those topics when they come up. Barron recommends running through what you might say, do, or think in advance until you feel good about it.

❓Q: I know we’re going to be talking politics. How do I make sure the conversation doesn’t go off the rails?

💬 Don’t expect to change anyone’s mind. The holidays are not the time “to be debating point against point” or “battling it out,” Kramer said. Instead, Anne Fishel, director of the Family and Couples Therapy Program at MGH, suggests shifting your goal toward curiosity. Questions like “Tell me more about how you arrived at your decision?” or, “What about your choice was important to you?” are good places to start. And remember, “empathy is not an endorsement,” Barron said.

😮‍💨 If things get heated, take a break. Fishel and Kramer both emphasized the power of a breather. Letting the table know you’ll be back and taking a beat can keep a conversation respectful.

QUICK QUESTION

💬 Do you talk politics with your fam at holiday gatherings? 

CITY

Quick & dirty headlines

💐 MBTA GM Phillip Eng is getting his flowers. A few years ago, it seemed totally inconceivable that Bostonians would be hyping up the MBTA’s general manager. But here we are. Maybe it’s the fact that we’re days away from a slow zone-free T. Maybe it’s his “calming voice” or “Ted Lasso-like” demeanor, but Eng (or, as the Globe says, “Train Daddy Eng”) has built himself quite the fan club during his time as GM. Seriously, some folks are calling for statues, duck boat parades, and even stopping him on the street for pics. What a guy.

🪧 Strikes are more of a Fenway thing than a TD Garden thing … and thankfully, it’ll stay that way since the Garden’s concession workers voted Sunday to accept their new contract, narrowly avoiding a strike. Unionized employees have been lobbying for higher commission rates, job loss prevention, better safety protections, and retirement benefits for months, and were prepared to strike. But right under the wire, Delaware North came in clutch with a shiny, new three-year contract that met most of their needs.

🎓 Community college degrees in health and STEM should have a solid payoff. But as it turns out, the programs serve some *cough* wealthier students better than others. According to a new study of Mass. community colleges, although a STEM or health degree should — and can — be a key tool for economic mobility, most of the students who actually enroll in programs and obtain these types of degrees are more well-off than those who don’t. Why? The study points to ill preparation in high school, higher-than-expected workload, and program capacity constraints. 

⛷️ Here’s how you can ski for FREE. Or, close to it. Storrs Hill Ski Area in Lebanon, N.H., is offering free lift tickets all season long thanks to a generous donation. But, keep in mind, they’re only open on the weekends, and rentals aren’t available there. If you don’t have your own skis or want to hit the slopes ASAP, King Pine Ski Area is offering lift passes for just $4 this Thursday as a part of its annual Founders Day deal. Just remember: Pizza and french fry.

GIVEAWAY

Together with Sippin’ Santa at Shore Leave

Enter to win a $75 Gift Card & Sippin' Santa Mug. To enter, just refer a friend and have them accept your invite by the end of the day on Dec. 18. If you have already referred a friend to B-Side (and they’ve accepted), you're eligible! Full details below*

18+. NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. Limit one entry per person. See Official Rules & an additional entry option here.

ONE LAST THING

The WNBA in … Worcester?

Did you know that one of the WNBA’s up-and-coming stars played ball in Worcester? It’s true. Aliyah Boston (yes, we said Boston!) not only played in Worcester, but she just became the first-ever athlete to have a jersey number retired at Worcester Academy, her alma mater.

Back in 2019, Boston led the school to a 24-1 record and a second straight New England Prep School Athletic Council (NEPSAC) Class A championship. Five years later, she’s one of the Indiana Fever’s best players, and even won the W’s “Rookie of the Year” award in 2023.

Teammate Caitlin Clark seemingly endorsed the decision, commenting "Yass sista," on Boston’s post about the ceremony.

— Written by Gia Orsino and Emily Schario

🏀 Thanks for reading! While we’re here: Does anyone know how to get tickets to the Boston Fever-Sun game that don’t cost $400? Asking for a friend.

🏆 The results are in: We’ve said it before, we’ll say it again: The B-Side Awards results for Mass.’ best viral moment are private (for now). But one reader who voted for Ayo’s Cool Dog moment said: “Anything ayo related -- boston's princess <3.”

💃 Keep up with us @BostonBSide on IG, TikTok, and Twitter. Send comments and suggestions to [email protected] or [email protected].